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When they tell you to stop and be still
It’s not about not moving
It’s about giving you the chance to recognize something,
that somehow has escaped your attention.
An aspect of you that seems to have gone unnoticed.

I know you can pay attention to many things.
and the world, it wants you to pay attention to a lot of things.
But to yourself,
Have you had an opportunity to pay attention to that ?

You see, attention is like a reservoir
And when you pay attention to the many things
That’s when it drains
But when you pay attention to yourself
That’s when it gets replenished

It’s easy for me to tell you about the life divine
But if you don’t know me
Then this means that your reservoir is low
That you can’t pay attention to yourself
That you have lost yourself in the ten thousand things

All I ever do is try to point you back to yourself
Because you, yourself is where it’s at
You yourself is where you find life

Out there, it’s what we call your life story
But life itself…
That’s inside, and that is a much bigger story
then the one you are clearly enchanted with.

In my thinking hunger is about food.
In my experience hunger is about discomfort.

In my thinking hunger is about wanting.
In my experience hunger is about not wanting.

If you only knew in my thinking,
then you might say that hunger makes me move towards something I want.
But if you only knew me in my experience,
then you might say that hunger makes me move away from a sensation that I don’t want.

The thinking
it’s the orientation of the above,
and the experience
it’s the orientation of the below.
and between them there is a veil,
The veil of desire.

To awaken is to begin to consider the above as well as the below.

And this is why desire is so tricky, because when we are asleep, we are enchanted by the thinking in the above, and then it can seem like we are moving towards something, but below where it counts, we are actually moving away.

One time someone asked me why that very wealthy person is never satisfied. I told them, that you never know, he might have spent his whole life thinking that he is moving towards, not knowing that underneath, in the experience, he was moving away. And if you spend your whole life running away, is it really a surprise that satisfaction never arrives.

Awakedness is awakened from “me” and there is no difference between them.

To be awake is to realize the game that is being played.
To be awake is to re-member.
To be awake to re-cognize who/what you really are.

And to see that the persona is just that which you pretend to be.
You forgot who you are in order to experience who you are and from that experience you create.

You delight in all the forms of you.
You are in joy in this life.
You love yourself here.

In I AM-ness there are no dimensions - there are none and yet there are all.

You contain the multitudes.

I AM pours forth all creations in order to know itself. What a gift of love!
Re-member, realize you are whole in this holy moment.

This experience is so rich, so overflowing with life, so abundant with goodness and gratitude. What joy! What Joy!

To know that I AM. And what is that but Life Awake. Life lifing. How glorious!

No matter where I AM, there I AM!
A simple shift in perception and there it is.
This is. I AM! That’s all.

Can you sit and listen to the stillness?
Can you hear it beckoning you back to something familiar that has seemed so far away.
Listen. It’s calling you home.

Can you watch as this all arises? Can you see THIS?
Truly allow each wave to rise and fall and merge again into the vast ocean.
Look. Each arising is calling you home.

Can you be as you are? Can you sit with you for a while? Have you contacted You?
Not the you you’ve conditioned yourself to be, but the you that is everywhere and nowhere at all, the you that is both everything and nothing.
Be. That is home.

Can we walk each other home, only to laugh as we realize we never left?
Can we click our heels together and feel the truth in, “there’s no place like home”?

Home is This.

And yet we leave trails of reminders to find our way - silence, stillness, a bird call, a babbling stream, our beloveds embrace, an infinite sky… everywhere you go my song is there calling you home, let’s walk awhile, get lost and pretend to find it all over again my love.

When I was a child, in school,
the question, Its meaning,
was to present the correct answer.

Was the question my friend ? No
Instead, it was something to overcome
or all together, something to avoid.

To be surrounded by established answers
It leaves us very little room to experience and discover
And then instead of a living question
It becomes about adhering to the right answer
Or in other words, a question about how we can best conform.

It’s a wonderful thing to bring questions back to life
which is really more about the process of discovery, and less about the answer we
present.
For me “Who am I?” was the gift that provided no clear answer
And it helped me wake up something that since childhood, was dormant and asleep.

Today, and perhaps not surprising, I find myself more curious that ever.
How to wake up the world in front of me, that is so outwardly looking and internally so
very much asleep.

But since it’s about the question and since there is no presumed correct answer
Then all we have left is a dialogue between us, and a path we walk on, that we lay
together, brick by brick.

The experience of a thing is always so much bigger than the words that
describe it.

If I give you the word ‘water’ don’t expect it to quench your thirst. Also know
that the word apple will always be much smaller than the sweetness that
comes with sinking your teeth into it, and actually taking a bite.

We talk words but forget that what’s important is the experience that stands
behind them. So we come to understand many things, but are oblivious of
how very little we intimately know.

I like it that you understand many things because that means that you are
aware of their existence, but ultimately I would like you to also take the time
to know things, which means that you have lived them, and that they now
live in you, so you can share them with others.

The one we call the mystic is the one who tries to share with you this big
experience he is living. He wants you to understand that this experience is
available to you, and that it’s really close, and in fact just around the corner.
So you get excited to have some greater experience, but he’s just trying to
tell you that this experience is you.

The path of wisdom is the one that takes you from the surface of your own
ocean, all the way to its inconceivable depth. It takes you from attempting
to grasp this enormity, to the miracle that is the dance of life itself.

The invitation for you is to pay less attention to the words, and more
attention to their underlying meaning. To make it less about the symbols on
paper, and more about how these pebbles touch your inner somatic space.

If you have never had the experience of ever being without money, then
you might want to consider that the word ‘poor’ for you remains in the realm
of the abstract. And so is it ok for you to let your guard down and be
humbled, and admit that you understand, but that you are sorry but you do
not actually know.

Let us try together, to tease apart the difference between understanding,
knowing, and not knowing.

Maybe after that we can take the word ‘Self’
, and see if we want to dive into
its many layers. See if we are willing to gain a knowledge that only comes
from letting ourselves naturally open up and unfold.

Our mind, it has no locus of true and authentic pleasure
It’s role is to mitigate and resolve present moment suffering
And to try to imagine a world where this suffering does not exist.

One

Those in the inner circle know this:

That life is best known not through the mind,
but through direct experience.
Which means, we do not grip for an outcome
And instead we open, let things unfold, and release.

This is the inner circle and the orientation of experience

It is the realm of revelation
It’s where we find source in all it’s beauty
And where we get to meet the miracle of life itself.

Two

When our experience is pleasurable,
Our movements, their nature is expression
There is no goal to them but authenticity
And this, we call art, dance or play

When instead of pleasure, our experience turns discomfort,
Instead of expression, we turn ourselves, our movements, into action.
Now our goal is to make the experience different
We are compelled, and so we desire change.

In action we set joy aside, and exchange it for the experience of effort.
The inner circle becomes then darkened
And will power is declared the new master and king.

This is the nature of the orientation that is action

A realm governed by overcome and challenge
The present moment looses its lure and luster
Fundamentally, everything becomes not ok!

Three

To really open into pleasure is high mastery
It’s a dive below the mind
Into deep currents of subjectivity and surrender.

Instead we get enchanted by presentations of pleasure
Trying to predict what the right circumstance is
That will allow us to have the experience that we seek.

Our dream is to be able to guarantee ourselves a good experience,
One that can free us form our mitigating efforts
And one that will allow us to rest within

This is the nature of the orientation that is circumstance

We try to bind our circumstance to our sought after experience
An attempt to stop the ever changing subjective nature of experience
A life of checking all the boxes, seeking to acquire a feeling state
One that comes with a lifetime warranty.

My prayer is for all beings to experience their magnificence and accept it.
To delight in their extraordinariness until it becomes ordinary.

For a moment I forgot how truly amazing I am. And I held back my expression.
And then I remembered, and I was free to express.
Because Expression is our birthright, and a thing we often forget.

And for a moment in my remembering I began to notice a fear.
What if in remembering my magnificence I become grandiose, and then made others
less than me?

And another recognition came, that I need not worry, because we are all magnificent.
There is nothing we need to be, do or have, we simply are extraordinary in our
existence which clearly comes through when we authentically express.

And I relaxed and a then a prayer poured forth from my lips:

May all sentient beings remember they are magnificent, that each expression is
extraordinary.
How could you not be?

You are extraordinary because you exist. Delight in your Self.

In this world it is easy to park your magnificence on your actions.
You feel you must DO extraordinary things in order to BE.

In this world it is easy to define your magnificence by your circumstances.
You feel you must HAVE it all, for extraordinary to be something you can CLAIM.

But what is true is that you actually are magnificently extraordinary.
No action and no circumstance makes it so.
Only experiencing what is true.

And then you become the expression you never dreamed you could be.

I know that I can offer myself a struggle
My dad did this before, and so have I, for many years.
It’s familiar

There is always something to struggle with,
And to offer myself a struggle is nothing special

If there is a great addiction to humanity
It is the addiction to the drama - to the struggle

In the past when we had no power, it was the elements that we had to
struggle with
But now it should be clear,
All the struggles are self created
And all the drama is of our own making

This question is not a simple question
Because our reality is that if I can’t, if we can’t
offer ourselves something else,
then we are going to destroy ourselves.
If all we have to offer ourselves is the endless
Need to overcome,
Then we will soon be faced with the impossibility of our predicament
a world of struggle that we are invested in creating

So I ask you,
Can you offer yourself any other experience ?
Struggle is easy, and our addiction to it is evident

Anything else ?

It’s so sad when they can’t hear the music.

Can you hear it
Calling you into this present moment ?

This endless work you are caught up in…
All the things your mind is wrestling with…
Can you put them down for a moment
And come dance with me?

Listen to the music with me. Let it make love with you.
Feel it vibrate your bones, sing to your soul, letting it tickle the whole of you.

Stop
Don’t get lost again
Listen

My love is so great - I will sit here with you until you can truly
Hear
Maybe for the first time.

I’ll wait
Patiently by your side
Until you are able to settle,
To land on the composition
stop fighting and let yourself happen.

If you truly listen to the music
You will hear it, feel it
It’s you.

And we’ll smile as we lay together
Side by side
And allow each note of god
To play our bodies into ecstasy
Welcome home

Copyright © 2022

Sometimes what is known for me
For you is the unknown

This creates for us a problem
Because if I invite you into me, into my world
Then I am responsible for you.

You don’t know what you are stepping into
And so it’s impossible for you to make an informed decision.
But this is life, no ?

Children are born into the unknown
And we guide them into knowing.
Yes, but to which knowing is the question
And if we are not careful with that
Then inevitably this becomes a problem

So what I have learned so far is this :

I should never invite you into my world
Unless I am sure you belong there
Because if you don’t, you will be ashamed
And afterwards you will be resentful
or worse, overpowered, you will lose yourself,
And what would be the point of that ?

So now what?
Should I invite you into the mystery or should I not?

My answer is yes, but with two conditions :

First. Is that you ask it of me
So that you are clear that I did not force you !

Second. It is important that we both agree and understand
That it is not my world that I am inviting you into
The world I am inviting you into is your own.

Copyright © 2022

Take a look,
and what you are looking at is never yourself

To look, is to see and define Other
The nature of observation is such
The making of the world into subject and object
Act and acted upon

Welcome to the realm of Observational Awareness
The one we call duality. Never One, always two

To search for oneself in this realm
Is bound to result in your absence
Because this realm is about objects
And Self isn’t
So ‘No-Self’ here.

Self can, and is found full of heart and body
But it requires that we refine our understanding of awareness.

Welcome to the realm of Non Observational Awareness

All subject, no object
All experience, and no observer

Don’t look, sense.
Don’t seek, experience

For Self realization is a non observational revelation
It is when you recognize yourself in
the immediacy and the beauty of this living experience

One Life, Blossoming
Awake to itSelf. You!

Copyright © 2021

Wild, unburdened heart!

Beloved, I am untethered and boundless.
I melt into your embrace
and merge like a flame into your raging fires.
I weep in ecstasy, my tears a prayer upon you.

I will no longer hold this fountain of love bound within.
I trust that my devotion will not overwhelm you.

You are the vastness into which I can empty this cascade of affection.
You are the eternity I devote my fullness to.

Let us take off our identities and fantastic stories that keep us separate
from each other.
Meet me beloved in the spaciousness of our hearts,
where the only choice is veneration.

Stay awake with me.

If it takes all night I will stay awake with you.
If it takes all of this life I will stay awake with you.
If it takes all eternity I will stay awake with you.

I’ll wait patiently.

Stay awake with me.

That thing you see when you look in the mirror
That’s not you
That’s your Self Image

Our Self image
It’s important to us, and that’s natural
Who after all
doesn’t want to have a good presentation

But if you really want to know yourself
Then you will not find yourself in a presentation
Because your Self cannot be expressed in an image
It’s just too small of a vessel for life’s enormity

My wish for you is to find someone that does not need
nor desires from you a presentation,
Someone that will be willing to just be with you as you are
So you can just let yourself happen.
Nothing preconceived, no judgment
Just welcoming you and assisting you in your innate expression.
To give you an opportunity to taste what it’s like to be free.

This thing you call Self
It can never be a presentation or an image
Because those are end goals,
and what we are looking for is a beginning.

It’s so easy to lose Self
When we are eager to make something of it

But if we can start to realize that Self is not a destination
Then we have the opportunity to return to Self
Then we have the opportunity to return to source

To be in your body is to be in your life
To be in your head is to be in your life story

To quiet the mind is to quiet the life story
But after you quiet the life story then what?
After that you still need to realize life.

When it’s about the life story
Then meditation is about overcoming
When it’s about life
Then you just feel. You sense.
Then eventually you recognize the gift
And then the gratitude comes

When all you want is to improve your life story
Then all you get is to meditate in your mind
There is no awakening in that.
A better life story is not awakening.
Awakening is Life first. Before your life story

Often we enter life through the life story
That’s why we don’t want to disregard it.
It’s the doorway we are presented with
and we want to honor that.

But it’s just the entry point
Because as much as you can dream your life story big
It’s still very limited.

The biggest life story you can imagine
Will always be much much smaller than Life itself
Much smaller than what you are.

When we get hit, we feel pain
But if no one hits us, do we feel pleasure ?

In solitary confinement, we feel very much alone
But in a room full of people, do we now not feel alone?

When the circumstance is bad, we can expect a bad experience to follow.
But if you think that a good circumstance means a good experience, then we
need to spend some time together, because I’m afraid we have a lot to learn.

Pain is an experience that requires no conscious effort, but joy is different, it
requires you to know yourself, because it’s not something that happens to you,
but rather a happening that is generated within.

The mistake is to think that experience is always something that happens to us.
As if to say, that an exquisite restaurant guarantees an experience you will enjoy.

If you walk around with pain, no amount of fine cuisine will ever make you happy.
But if you are internally enjoying, even a street vendor can surprise you, and be a
revelation of delight.

The purpose of good circumstance is to protect you from pain, making room for
you to consciously create pleasure.

Joy is an experience, and the nature of experience is internal and subjective. So
it’s absolutely possible to create a circumstantial heaven, and at the same time
live in an experiential hell.

Ask yourself.
Are you mastering your circumstance or are you mastering your experience.
Because these are two very different types of affluence, and if you invest in one
and forsake the other, odds are, you will come across an unexpected disillusion,
followed by a substantial amount of pain.

Copyright © 2023

When we can feel ourselves, live with ourselves, be with our experience
That’s when we don’t suffer. That’s when we have access to being whole.
When we can’t. When we distance ourselves from our experience
That’s when our suffering begins.

Discomfort, physical pain, emotional pain, is not suffering
If we can be with, if we can resolve,
We learn that our experience is welcome. We learn that who we are is welcome.
Then we can access the present moment. Access this creative unfolding. Access Self.

When we want to resolve but can’t. That’s when it’s suffering.
That’s when our creativity is bound. That’s when we lose access to Self.

Seeking resolution is to prevent suffering. We make room for that. We honor that.
After, we need to make room for Self again.Otherwise Seeking resolution is the
suffering. Then, even if we resolve, we are still consumed. Even if we resolve, things
eventually loose their true meaning.

A life consumed by taking action, a life consumed by improving circumstance, is also
suffering.Too much goal oriented means, that underneath we are always trying to make
something go away.

Buried in Seeking Resolution, sometimes even fully driven, and we lose our ‘I AM’
With it we lose our freedom, our nature, our authenticity, our innate expression.
Then we become separate. Then we disconnect. Then It’s ego. Then it’s mind.

Less seeking resolution pours into more Self.
Less of what we want and don’t want pours into more about who and what we are.

Yes. We can master seeking resolution and then at best, we are able to conquer the
world. In the process we will however forget ourselves, in the process in fact we have.
This is the true nature of our madness.

The doorway to Self, it doesn’t open when we try to resolve. Self doesn’t appear in
rejection. It’s when we dive in. When we embrace. Then Self can blossom. Then we can
realize Bliss. Then the doorway to Self, it opens. Not from the outside, but naturally and
from within.

Copyright © 2023

Are you ready to leave the chess board behind?
The mental and emotional gymnastics have gotten exhausting.

I’ll admit I’ve really enjoyed the game.
Truly.
I loved playing the pawn for awhile, the queen, especially the wise bishop.
I’m not running from it any more, not trying to escape it.
It’s just time to leave the board for a time.
Let it go.

In choosing to leave the board I have freedom to move as mySelf.

You can choose to leave the game as well.
It doesn’t really matter .
You can play as you do. It’s really ok.
You may have been assigned to play a pawn this time around, but you don’t have to.

This is an invitation to come with me.
And you have a choice, you can keep playing,
Or , you can just leave it.
YES, you CAN just leave it.

Like a game of heads or tails,
the game itself is not all that impressive after awhile,
but leaving the coin that’s something.

It’s not about denouncing the game.
You just don’t pick up the coin, you just leave the chess board.
You thought you needed it, you thought you had to play,
but maturity is realizing you can let it go,
you do not have to be a pawn or a king, heads or tails…
you can just be beyond all the games and identifications.

It’s ok to play a role for a while
But if you are overly invested, then you forget
And then even if you win
Unconsciously, you have lost yourself

Some people look at a tree and will say
“This tree is in the forest”
And this makes sense to them because
you can take the tree out of the forest
and the forest, as it seems remains

Then I would ask
If you take all the trees out of the forest
Will the forest still be there?

And This is duality.
The idea that trees are in forests
people are on planets
fish are in oceans
phenomena arises in consciousness
and bodies are things that house our spirit
that afterwards goes somewhere else

And this is all one big misunderstanding
And the source of our greatest discontent

Because trees are not in a forest
they are forest expressions
Likewise waves are ocean expressions
and people are planetary ones

This is non duality
Where everything is an expression of the whole
Where God is not the creator but creativity itself
And life is not something you go through
but something that you are an expression of.

Copyright © 2023

When you wake up you find the thing you want
And when you are asleep you dream of all the things that you think you want.

My daughter, if you ask her what she wants
She’ll tell you about her favorite ice cream flavor

But if you ask me what I want for her
I’ll tell you that I want her to have herself

The mystic, what he wants for you is to have yourself
But the seeker, he doesn’t want himself
He wants to get enlightened, he wants the ice cream

When you eat gelato you get an experience
But the gelato maker, for him it’s his expression.

My daughter she wants to have an experience
And I just love her expression when she tastes it
I don’t care about the ice cream
I just love it when she smiles

But I also love it when I love
Because I love my expression too.

Today, I am the mystic
Why ?
Because I have myself

One day I hope you find that what you want most of all is yourself
In the meantime I’m happy to offer you ice cream.

Copyright © 2023

Beloved! It all becomes clear!
You have danced one breath away
In perpetual foreplay…
On the edge of the orgasm
Simply so that you can love me.
Simply so that we can long
For UNION.
Coming close. So close.

So you want to play this game of devotion to me?
Lie down in prostration and service at my feet
As I count the multitude of ways…

First, do not fear all my forms and faces.

I am the compassionate one - dive into my heart.
I am the wrathful one - she will devour you whole.
I am the awakened one - she holds you and waits.
I am the terrible one - she shakes you to your depths.
I am the alive one - dance with me as life itself.
I am the tantric one - pleasure unites us as one.
I am the human one - hold me in my becoming.

Can you be with all of my forms and faces?
For that is ultimate devotion.
Each face calls on a different aspect of your service.

Be like Hanuman the servant of God.
When God asks Hanuman who he is, he replies:
“When I forget who I am, I serve you.
When I remember who I am I AM YOU.”

And eventually I will ask you to see the One behind all form
As we play this divine game of pretending, because inevitably
This Devotional Foreplay will lead to your ecstatic annihilation.
Copyright © 2023

Once, and for two thousand years the earth was immovable. It lived at the
center of the universe, and all the heavenly bodies revolved around it. This
was at the time a truth we all shared. An unquestionable belief,
masquerading as a fact of life.

Then, one heretic had the courage to offer us a different truth. Instead of
stationary, he put the earth in motion. He made it revolve around the sun,
and thus moved all of us from our long held geocentric model to a
revolutionary heliocentric one.

This is the process of awakening. We realize the fallacy of our current
model, and another model, more whole and more complete gives us
access to what previously was concealed.

Our current model, not geocentric, but egocentric, defines us as a person in
the center of all experiences. We are the hero of our own journey, a
character of sorts that goes through this journey called life.

And now I have to be the heretic. Now I have to offer you another model.
One that will put into question the person centric model that you don’t even
know you have.

And it goes like this :

You are not a person having a life

But rather

You are life.
And at this moment you are having a person.

Copyright © 2024

A seed encased
in white lace fingers
is carried by God’s breath
across the sky.

It looks like a miniature firework,
fingers of light exploding outward
as it flies.

I could watch it bounce
and float
and roll
as I listen to a chorus of birds,
each vying for their place in the melody
- or maybe they do not vye -
they simply express without care,
the song of their hearts.

The pine needles shimmer in the sun,
green fireworks exploding
as the white one blows by.

I wonder where it will land and what will it become?

I too am like the seed in the wind.
I do not know where I am floating
but I trust the breath of God
to blow me where I am needed -
to become what I am meant to become.

A seed doesn’t worry -
it just seeds.
It doesn’t question itself -
it just is what it is.

And it allows itself to transform
from seed to flower or tree.

It allows and it accepts
the natural process of becoming.
It is not at odds with itself
wishing it were thinner
or bigger
or richer
or another species all together.

It does not question -
where are you taking me wind?

It doesn’t say
“I’m not a flower yet! Come On, hurry up!”

It rests in being what it is -
a glorious seed full of infinite potential to be.

May I be like the seed.
May I trust where I am being taken,
may I trust right timing,
may I become all I am meant to become
and be all that I am
right here right now.

Copyright © 2024